We've come to the conclusion at work that one of our coworkers is stuck in the Internet Tube circa 2003 as far as meme knowledge is concerned. This is dissapointing, since we work at a tech services company. It is being steadily corrected, but it has made for some rather WTF moments when something is referenced that he's pretty clueless about.This week, someone sprung for sodas for the office. Nothing too noteworthy about this, but he passed them out upside down, as an "Offering a la Technoviking." LOLs were had all around, except for our poor friend who was more o.O? than LOL. This HAD to be made right. I decided to relate the Epic of Technoviking while trying to find a version of the video that hadn't been ripped down...
In the beginning, there was the Blue-Haired Dancing Girl. And she danced to the beat of the drum. She beckoned all to dance to the beat of the drum, and the crowd reveled. There was much rejoicing. But, like anything good, such revelry can only be had for so long before some asshat will try to ruin it for everyone. Thus it was that a Wild Asshat appeared and proceeded to grope the Blue-Haired Dancing Girl.
The Asshat would have rained emo on the whole parade, if it were not for a lone stranger of immense strength and stature. He was girt for battle in the ancient, traditional Industrial tribal manner: his beard braided and hair shorn, clad only in long forest green shorts, various charms and pendants and 40lb combat boots. The stranger, the Technoviking, would not stand for this Asshat's asshattery. He caught the Asshat by the arms as he tried to escape, demanding an explanation of his transgressions. The Asshat did try the Technoviking with deceptive arts, but the Technoviking prevailed. And with his epic point he did send the Asshat packing.
At this point, feeling quite angered and exhausted by the ordeal, he signaled it was time to march. No one knows how far the Technoviking would have made the crowd to march, or what he would have lead them to, but he lead them just the same. And they did follow, knowing that to stray would further provoke his wrath. In an effort to appease the Technoviking's wrath, a bald wizard approached the Technoviking with an offering from a land no doubt in the Far East: Upside-down Water.
And the offering did appease the Technoviking. He was refreshed and renewed. And thus he began to dance. He danced in his 40lb boots with the crowd to the beat of the drum. There was much rejoicing. During the wild dancing, a educated man, educated in the ways of education, came to the Technoviking, and presented him with miniature books of hidden knowledge. As tempted as the Technoviking was to eschew his tribal ways, he held fast to that which he knew was his destined purpose. The Technoviking does not read; the Technoviking dances! And as the beat of the drum intensified, he did tear it in half with his bare hands and continued to dance.
He danced in his 40lb boots with the crowd to the bead of the drum. There was much rejoicing.
