2011 Year In Review

I had wanted to do a year in review, highlighting all the big moments of this year and putting neat little links down below for you to click through and read about all the zany misadventures of our intrepid household.

But you see, I was lazy this year.

Maybe lazy isn't the word. Tired maybe. Overcommitted might be better. Outcome was the same, though. At the end of the day, I just didn't have it in me to want to write. Many of these posts can take an hour or more to write, and I just didn't have that block of uninterrupted time to sit and type. There's always something else that needs doing.

But here's where it gets tricky. Unlike all those other things, writing actually makes me feel better when I'm done. I feel motivated, energized. It's a relief to get my thoughts and happenings down where I can see them. Even if I don't post all of what I type out, at least it was out on the screen for that little while, where I could see it and examine it for what it really is. I feel lighter and more accomplished when I'm done, which is way more than I can say about some of the other things I do in a day.

For instance, if I had written it at the time, I would have been beaming with pride when I posted that, after more than six years, I finally adopted Colin.

New last name and everything. He made the decision to take the Cope family name on his own. Barring some paperwork to amend the birth certificate and get a new social security card, it's a done deal. He's always been my boy, but now the papers agree.

There would have been a link to a post about when I almost lost Clara. I was trying to get everyone ready to go in the morning, and when I called for Colin, he didn't respond, so I asked Clara to see if he was out at the car already. She interpreted this as "Epic Neighborhood Quest Times!" and upon finding no hint of her brother at the car, she decided to go search for him. Turned out he was in his room and just didn't feel like answering that morning. Thank goodness our neighborhood is full of kind and understanding people, many of whom are parents themselves. One of them saw her on their way to work, told her she should not be out by herself and to go home, and then followed her to make sure she was going home. I had never been so relieved as when I saw that mop of blond hair bouncing up the street back home.

There would have been an entry on my wife's new business. Yes, she's started her own Passion Parties business - purveyors of fine romance advice and products, and has worked and recruited her way up to team lead! Not only have the profits grown steadily over the past few months, but the knowledge and advice have been phenomenal for our relationship.

Not to brag (well, maybe a little, she deserves it), but that's pure profit earned in less than one month from cash sales only (not counting profit on credit card sales). She earned enough last month to not only cover a car payment, but also pay for airfare to Vegas for her convention next March. I've been helping her with advertising and promotion, building an exchange server and managing the domain, tanking the kids and doing some of the more mundane paperwork prep so she can focus on customer and training calls. I'm so very proud of her, and the future looks very bright. You can find a link to her online store and website in the links section (somewhat NSFW), true, but I would have made a whole post on the new business alone.

There would have been a post or five about Christmas. I have been spending the entire Winter Break at home with the kids this season so D will have enough time off for Vegas. These past two weeks alone could have filled a page.

Yes, that's a drum set. For Clara. She loved the toy drum we got her several years ago so much that, in a fit of masochism and alcohol, we decided to get her a set of them that we saw online. We spent almost two whole days shopping online over Thanksgiving in El Paso, hunting for just the right gifts. Colin got an e-reader with a built-in radio and media player, loads of B&N gift cards, the newest Zelda game and "A Christmas Story" bundle, complete with the DVD of the film and an actual BB gun - the same one that Ralphie obsesses over the entire movie. Along with her drum set (which she just LOVES, wish I could find a way to post that Facebook video...), Clara got books and cards and clothes. They both got Nerf guns to shoot each other with. D got a load of clothes and a brand new shower head to replace the old one that made more of a dribble than an actual shower. The hoops that I had to jump through just to get that here and ready before Christmas would have warranted it's own post. I received a Nook Color, and have done more reading in the last week than in the past three years combined.

There would have been more posts about us starting the year off with some good friends who had to leave us because they received new orders to move out, and how much we miss them even still. There might have even been a mention of them later, congratulating them on a gorgeous baby girl. There would have been at least one post about Kevin moving in to our house, and several more short posts at least on the ensuing hilarity. There would have been posts about meeting new friends and the good times we've had with them. There would have been a post on my promotion at work, the restructuring that's taking place (don't worry, it's a good restructure) to make our department work more efficiently and how much more I'm enjoying my job now that I can focus on the parts of it that I really enjoy.

There would have been many more posts.

But they didn't happen this year. For one reason or another, they just didn't. I love this blog too much to let that happen again. So, as much as I'm not one to make New Year's Resolutions, I'm making one this year. After all, I've made them before and they turned out great. This year, I want to post at least one general and one weekend intelligence entry a week. Shorts are fun and bonus, but I want to do at least that, if not more. Help me along in this, won't you? Comment in the comments section, like the Facebook page and give me feedback, and share this page with your friends. Let me know you're out there and enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it. And if not, why not?

I pray for a joyous and prosperous new year for you all! See you next year!

EDIT (1/1/2012): D uploaded the video of Clara playing her new drums from her phone to YouTube. You can see it here. Happy New Year!

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men

Today when I rolled outta bed
A song was goin' through my head
And it's been runnin' round in there since then.
All about the bells a-ringin'
Hallelujah angels singin'
"Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men!"

It all goes back to long ago when
Mary and her husband Joe got
Stranded in a barn in Bethlehem
Mary had a baby boy and
The heavens opened with joyful songs of
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.

And in the sky there was as star,
Much brighter than the rest by far,
And shepherds gathered 'round their flocks to tend.
And wise men brought them gifts and things and
Angels sang of baby kings and
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.

It wasn't anything he did
'Cause he was just a little kid but
Somehow they all knew it, even then.
He was born of joy and love and
To remind us all the message of
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.

Now every year it's just the same:
We miss the point and go insane and
Overeat and drink and stress and spend!
When all you need is to remember
Once a year, in late December,
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.

So when I hear those carols chime and
Get these little tunes and rhymes
All stuck there in my head yet once again,
I just leave there 'til the end of the year
And try to listen when I hear about
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men.

From me and mine, to you and yours, regardless of creed or belief, may you experience fullness of joy and peace this holiday season.

Serious Update: Have you seen Randy Ponzio?

Don't normally break out of the typical format, but this is important. A good childhood friend of D's has gone missing in Vancouver. If any of you know him or know someone in Vancouver who might know him or can spread the word, please pass this along.

Here are some links with more information. If you can help, even just by spreading the word, I'd be very grateful:

• http://www.spinner.com/2011/11/18/vancouver-musician-randy-ponzio-quest-poetics-missing/?a_dgi=aolshare_facebook
• http://findrandyponzio.tumblr.com/
• http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Vancouver+police+investigating+musician+disappearance/5735033/story.html
• http://vpdreleases.icontext.com/2011/11/18/missing-person-randy-ponzio/
• http://www.facebook.com/groups/111978372250375/
• https://www.facebook.com/events/319742828051664/

Thanks for your help!

EDIT: My condolences to the family and friends of Randy Ponzio. I never knew him, but from what I've heard of him, I wish I had.

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Missing+Vancouver+musician+Randy+Ponzio+found+dead/5740776/story.html

Please pray for them as they mourn. Thanks again.

Weekend Intelligence: Halloween House Party!

A lot changes in a year: jobs change, new friends come and old friends move on. But one thing that's a tradition in our house is Halloween. That's OUR holiday! For four years now, we have decked our house out in Halloween decor, went all out on our costumes and handed out some of the best candy in the neighborhood. And now, for two years, we've also thrown a big Halloween party. So, in typical weekend intelligence fashion, here are the highlights!

Honestly, we weren't going to do a party this year. Oh, I had THOUGHT about doing one this year since last year, but I didn't think there would really be any interest. A third of the people that were invited and/or attended the one last year had moved out of state, including the handful of party crashers. But about two weeks away from what would have been the party, and completely out of the blue, I had a few friends mention individually that they were really looking forward to my party this year...

I guess that means I'm throwing a party this year. >.>;

A Facebook event posting, some online costume shopping and some last-minute babysitter calls later, and we had a party planned. We decided to go with a kind of Alice in Wonderland theme. D picked out an amazingly detailed Red Queen costume, and I went with a Mad Hatter costume that included the works. Well, it was supposed to include the works. Instead, the hair was pulled off the hat, the tie was sticky and the pants were missing. Sounds like a rough weekend (pa-dump-psh)... Anyway, I called the customer service line for the site that I ordered it from and sent pictures of what remained of the costume, and they got me a refund and said I could keep the costume.

Now, the costume was not all that great of a deal for the price I paid, but it was a great deal now that it was free. Throw in some hamburger queso and some crock pot Lil Smokies and meatballs, homemade sparkling cranberry wine, beer, liquor and mixers, 72 jello shots (yes, we made 72 of them, in pina colada, strawberry daiquiri and margarita flavors and spiked with the appropriate spirits for the flavor) and a playlist of some creepy movies and music, and you have yourselves a party. I invited all the San Antonio people I knew, and D (with her new and successful network marketing business) invited a TON of people. We had a decent turnout, and even had some party crashers again this year.

Trick-or-treating was great again this year. Added to the collection of decorations this year is a skeleton pirate to hang on the door knocker, a larger skeleton pirate that looks like it's breaking up through the ground around the bushes and three skulls that connected to the fog machine via hoses. The first two made it through the holiday, but the tubing for the skulls started melting from the heat of the fogger, so they got tossed. At least we still have the skulls for next year.

This next week will be a full week, but then I'm taking Monday off for a 3-day weekend. Colin and I have some important business to take care of that Monday... :) Stay tuned.

Clara's 5th

Has it been five years already?

It seems like only yesterday that a little baby tumbled into my life, with striking blue eyes that met mine only after I gently called her name and an unabashed passion for life. Five years later, I have a goofy little girl with two missing teeth (you can't tell from this picture; she has a mouthful of food) who's just starting to read. But she still has the same joy-filled blue eyes and a fiery love for life.

Five years... Why is time so awesome and so cruel at the same time?

It's our family tradition that you get to choose where to eat on your birthday. This has resulted in far more hours than one should ever spend in a Chuck E. Cheese over the years. Thankfully, Clara choose Peter Piper this year: same game room chaos, true, but 100% less creepy animatronic talking rodents.

The place was fairly quiet when we got there, and it looked roomier than I'd remembered as well. Apparently they'd done some extensive remodeling since we'd been there last, and Mondays are slow evenings. After ordering our pizza and game tokens, filling our drinks and finding our seats, we sent the kids off to play. Colin, who, despite dragging us to places like this and acting like a sugared-up twit for the past 7 some-odd years, was suddenly too cool to be seen in a place like this, especially with his baby sister, and only begrudgingly looked after her as she rode a rickety old kiddie ride and tore through the jungle gym.

The pizza didn't take long to cook, so I rounded up the kids to get to chowing down. Colin finished his pizza in short order and wanted to get some time to play some games without his tag-along sister, so he went and blew all his tokens in under 2 minutes flat on the coin-drop games. I gave him a few more dollars to play, with the warning that there was no more money for additional tokens. Again, 2 minutes flat, and he was back at the table complaining about being bored.

It was all lost on Clara, though. She was very happy to be there, eating her favorite pizza and playing games. Once she'd finished up and had a good wipe down of all the pizza grease, she struck out with D and I in tow and tokens in hand. One ride in particular had caught her attention while she was eating: it was bright orange, loud, had a huge screen with air blowers and seats for two which rocked and shook in sync with the scene onscreen...

Oh, look! There's one... You can really get anything on the internets, stationary death traps included.

Anyway, she thought this was a great idea, and I didn't call "Not it!" fast enough, so I sat with her on this thing while D stood away and watched on with a camera phone and a smirk. The ride was clearly not designed for either of our sizes: my head sat well above the head rest, legs cramped up onto the foot holds, and you could fit three of Clara into the other seat with room to spare. Clara wanted to do the simulator with the race cars, because, well, because race car. I vaguely remember, in between the repeated blunt head trauma from that shaking contraption of doom, crashing into other cars, going over speed bumps that jumped over lanes and through loop-the-loops at breakneck (not figurative) speeds.

For all my silly complaints of severe and/or life-threatening head and neck injury, Clara actually had a blast: she was whooping and hollering the whole time. Everytime the seats bucked, she'd laugh, which sounded even more funny given that she was being violently shaken by a robot. Eventually, the ride came to a stop and it was time to get off. I crawled off, still rather dazed at the experience, but Clara, still very much excited with the adventure, tried to jump off unassisted. She caught her thigh in the handles, bent her leg in a very unnatural way, tumbled off the ride head first and was caught by a very horrified DeAnn. We spent the next 15-20 minutes or so filling out an incident report with the manager of the establishment. Don't worry, she was dancing and running around through most of it, though that might bruise up.

Thankfully, the rest of the evening was pretty uneventful. We sang happy birthday to her over a big, chocolate cake with a candle shaped like a "5" and watched her blow it out. After cake and ice cream, she opened her cards and presents. We got her a Disney's Beauty and the Beast DVD and a Tangled TAG book for her reader. Grandparents and great-grandparents sent her a rather nice chunk of change by way of those noisy electronic birthday cards she absolutely loves. We read her book and finished off the last of Snow White that we'd started the night before just before she called it a night.

Final tally: pizza had, tokens spent, concussion sustained, incident report filed, tickets won, trinkets acquired, cake and ice cream scarfed, cards and presents opened, books read and happy little girl exhausted, but truly loved.

Weekend Intelligence: Avast ye, throw in together and harken!

Aye, it be that time o' year again! Time when we be putting aside the proper frivolities of our standard parlance and take up the rougher jawin' as heard in yer favorite boozin' ken.

Translation: Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Yes, it's a real thing. Every year, on September 19th, folks from all over the interwebs get together and, well, talk like pirates for the day. And maybe it was the family's collective pirates wanting to celebrate a bit early, but we had a rather piratey weekend. So, in typical weekend intelligence fashion, here are the highlights!

ARR!

Due to some automotive problems, and a need to move forward on some issues on the home front, D and I took Friday off to take care of some unfinished business. After getting the car and sharing a few at the Flying Saucer while completing paperwork (and trying to break D into that market with her new business), I sat down for the evening and, on a whim, decided to browse Steam games. As it turns out, Puzzle Pirates, an MMORPG that we used to play back in the day while waiting for FFXI servers to update, was now free to play on Steam. We only played it during maintenance, but it was fun, family friendly (any cursing would be replaced by ridiculous and completely family friendly pirate-speak curses) and, best of all, free. It fell by the wayside because, well, FFXI ate our souls.

At any rate, I decided to give it a spin. I installed it and created a pirate, and hadn't been playing it much more than 30 minutes before both Colin and D had taken notice, downloaded it, installed it and were pillaging with me. :D We had quite a piratey weekend: we found a good crew and I even bought a special ship that we can do runs in as a family or with the other crewmates. Just need to finish getting it stocked up with plenty of rum and cannon balls. LOL

The actual talk like a pirate day was a work day, and as much as I wanted to just sit at home and have me a swig o' rum and relax, there was work to be done. But that didn't keep me from talking to coworkers and (understanding) clients alike as a pirate and wearing my tricorne around the office. Yes, I keep one on hand at my for just such an occasion. In fact, a new employee started in our department, and her first impression of me is hailing her with a hearty "Ahoy!" while drinking a coke and wearing a pirate hat.

Life can get a little hectic and can be really complex, but sometimes, all you really need is to do is point the bowsprit, find something to have a good "har" about and set sail.

Ain't Life Grand: You Gonna Make Biscuits?

It was my turn at the on-call phone this week. One of the system engineers saved my ass and covered for me for the weekend while I had family in town, but I got the phone as soon as I got back. And, of course, wouldn't you know it but the silly thing went off in the middle of the night every night I had it?

But it wasn't it's typical ringer... I was pulled out of sleep by GIR, asking the timeless question "You gonna make biscuits?!"

Well played, Hahn. Well played. Ain't life grand?

Weekend Intelligence: July 4th Weekend - Now With 100% Fewer Fireworks!

The blistering heat and severe drought of South Texas this year prompted the powers that be to outlaw all fireworks and cancel all 4th of July displays this year. Bleh. Especially since my mom, dad and brother, Jordon, had been looking forward to coming down and visiting us for months. No fireworks on the 4th and a house full over: what to do? The answer is simple: take it easy and try to stay out of the heat! So, in typical weekend intelligence fashion, here are the highlights.

They didn't actually leave until late Friday, and since they were traveling from Emporia, KS, they wouldn't be in until late that evening. Even so, I took the last few hours off from work to get the house ready: ran the Roomba and the Scooba to get as much of the pet dander up as I could, cleaned the kitchen and living room, dusted and changed the filter on the AC. See, dad is allergic to cats, and we have two of them, so every little bit helps to prevent him from turning into a sniffling mess my wife affectionately coined "sneezing tomato." When they were just outside New Braunfels, I got some hamburger queso dip (the same stuff D's mom makes when we travel there) and some margarita mix ready for them. They got in about midnight, but were still up for an hour or so of kicking back and having a drink before calling it a night.

Saturday was pretty packed. We spent the better part of the morning planning out what we wanted to do that evening. My folks had never been to the Riverwalk, so we wanted to show them a good time. We booked dinner boat tickets and aimed to see the jazz club later that evening. We went to the Flying Saucer for lunch to show them our favorite pub and put 3 more beers under my belt. After a nap, we piled into the van and went downtown.

Now, the place was packed and hot as all get out. And I mean PACKED: most walkways were only single file in both directions, and some were even less than that with all the vendor booths open for the holiday weekend. Combine this with the heavier than average tourist traffic due to that same holiday weekend, and you get the perfect storm for someone ending up in the river. I thought for sure Clara was going to end up in the drink more than once. When we got to the riverboat tour ticket line, it was snaked around the tensabarriers, up the stairs and onto the street topside. An easy 2 hour wait. -.-; We just decided that, since we were going to be on a boat anyway, we'd skip the tour. After sitting in this place for 15mins getting ignored for a drink order, we decided to get some bottled water at the CVS and chill at the Hilton until our dinner boat was in.

I'm glad we didn't stress the tour boat, because after the food was served, the boat disembarked and provided us with a tour. Perfect! In all the years I've been here, I'd never been on one before. I'd seen them trolling around, but never been on one. It was a little cramped, but the food was fantastic and the tour was great. After we finished there, we found some open seats at the Landing's patio just in time to hear the jazz trio start up. While D and I have been here several times before, this was the first time we took the kids with. And it probably won't be the last, as Clara absolutely LOVED the jazz music. She put her hands in the air and just started jiving to the music with all the bead necklaces she suckered out of the folks on the dinner boat. It was adorable, and not lost on the band and patrons, some of them taking pictures of her dancing and waving her arms.

Sunday we were going to try to hit Sea World, but if the Riverwalk was any indication, the place was going to be like a stroll through an overcrowded loony bin on the floor of an active volcano. As much as I love Sea World, none of us were up for that. Instead, we took it easy, had some lunch and scheduled massages for D, mom, Jordon and I and bought theater tickets for dad and the kids. Afterward, we went to Joe's Crab Shack and had some seafood. D got this drink that came with a shot of grenadine in a plastic toy shark, and the waitress shouted out "OH NO! THERE'S A SHARK IN THE WATER!" as she poured grenadine into the blue drink and groaned painfully. Ever the networker, D chatted her up to see if she'd be interested in doing Passion Party consulting. LOL

Monday was even more of the same: very relaxing and not too much planned. We went to the mall to get a few things that Jordon needed. The parents sprung for some swag at the Disney store - beach towels and swimming gear for Colin and Clara. I needed a new pair of shoes for the gym, so I got that while I was out there, too. After the mall, the kids went with the grandparents to go swimming at the hotel pool while we took a nap. For their last night in town, we went to dad's favorite restaurant in town, the Alamo Cafe, for some of their world-class margaritas, fajitas and fresh made tortillas.

In a way, I'm sorry I didn't have more for them to do while they were in town, but then again, I think a nice, relaxing weekend might have been what the doctor ordered for all involved.

Life's Little Updates

It's been a while since I've updated everyone on the state of our little corner of the world. How the days seem to fly...

First off, our good friends Mike and Claudia decided to abandon us for the east coast. :P Actually, Mike got new orders and had to move to Ft. Bragg a few months ago. This effectively put an end to our little gaming group for the foreseeable future - at least until Wizards of the Coast gets around to releasing their virtual table so we can play online. It was fun while it lasted, and we did get one last hurrah and ended with an adventure that had some decent closure.

Related to that... With their move, Kevin, their roommate, was out of an apartment. D and I offered him a place to stay at our house for a little rent, and he accepted. His daughter, Elizabeth (Erizabef in Clara-speak) gets along with both kids and stays the weekend as well every other weekend, making for a very full house. :)

We've also been keeping on the lookout for some new gaming buddies. While we miss our friends something awful, we still want to put dice on the table. After posting on some gaming boards and putting a note on Craigslist, we found some folks who were interested. I went through all my old campaign notes and designed a reboot for the same campaign. And just when we were about to start, that week, their schedule got mixed up and they were unable to make it anymore. Luckily, Kevin knew someone else who was interested from D&D Encounters, so he joined in instead and we were still able to play last weekend. And despite being one person short for the encounters I made, we still had a great time. I hear he might be bringing someone to the next one, so hopefully it can game on time again.

And its game off again for FFXI and FFXIV. While we started playing again, I can count on one hand the number of times I've logged on in the last few months. It's just not worth the subscription anymore. We've decided to use some of the savings to get gym memberships at Bally's, as well as put some extra towards credit cards. We finally have a plan to get out of debt.

D has started a home business with Passion Parties. You know, those parties. She's loving the opportunities to set her own goals and rules, all while doing really well in her sales and having a blast at the parties. She's also just opened an online store. I've also added a link on the sidebar. For obvious reasons, it may be a little NSFW, but when you have a moment, have a look. She has a little something for everyone in there, men and women, singles and couples alike.

Colin's doing really well in K12, an online homeschooling program that he attends over at the same home daycare Clara has been at for years. They're both excited for a little break this summer; we're headed to El Paso for Memorial Day, making a 4-day weekend of it and we're taking Alice the Tank (we finally gave her a name) along for her first family road trip. I love Lucky, but the van is so much more comfortable for long-distance travel.

Summer is almost here, and I'm looking forward to it. :D

Weekend Intelligence: Goodnight, Christine

Sometimes life just seamlessly transitions into a different chapter. And then sometimes, there are very distinctive breaks in chapters that can be a bit hard to take. This weekend was one of those. Forgive me if this doesn't follow the normal format and rambles a little; the symbolism hits close to home for me. So, in typical weekend intelligence fashion, here are the highlights.

Christine, my convertible, had been having trouble since the minor accident I was in late last year. Nothing serious, mind you, but she was pretty banged up. It was a real blow to the ego that my lovely car had taken a hit. I had saved up money to do repairs, but thought better of spending it on a car when there were so many other more important things to do, namely paying for Colin's adoption. She just started to slide from there. Combined with some shady and underhanded dealings with maintenance done at WalMart (I realize it's my fault for doing them at WalMart, but they didn't have to be deceptive crooks about it) that ruined her oil pan, she was having some real issues starting and idling.

Well, this weekend, the problems got extreme, so I took time off on Monday to get her down to the service center to have her looked at. She needed, among many, many other things, at least a replacement of the oil pan, gasket and plug. They quoted me $840 for it. Then they quoted me all the other work she would need to get her to driving like she did before the accident. All in all, just shy of $3000.

$3000... For a car that was going on 9 years old and 90k miles. For a car that I still owed $5000 on and could only get $2000 for. I remember when she had 30k... But the fact of the matter is that she was becoming a money sink and was quickly also becoming unsafe to drive. I have no doubt that if I would have taken Christine to Austin during week, she would have broken down. As much as it pained me to admit it, it was time to trade her in.

Since I only had that one day off, and she was having trouble getting from place to place as it was, D took the day off and we both went to Carmax. We'd had a very good experience there before, so we decided to try it again. She came to pick me up, bring me to the dealer to get the convertible, and we both went down to Carmax.

It became clear in the first half hour there that we were looking for two different things. I was looking for something to replace Christine with that would be just accommodating enough for our family, maybe a little larger for any additions. D was looking at minivans. Big minivans. Now, in fairness, we've been seriously considering, if not trying for, an addition to the family. But since we've had a Vue (first Summer, then Lucky), I've had the freedom to also have a fun car.

The problem is that our family is already starting to get too large for poor Lucky. Going anywhere of moderate distance in the Vue with all 4 of us (not to mention Suzie) is difficult in the Vue. Colin spends most of the time curled up in the fetal position or otherwise contorted around luggage. Visiting grandparents in El Paso, Kansas or even the East Coast would be difficult now, and simply wouldn't work with a second car seat in the Vue.

Long story short, after spending 4 hours on the lot, several test drives and some debate, we traded in Christine for a 2010 Chrysler Town & Country. It's a behemoth of a vehicle, especially considering what I was driving before. I have to climb up into the driver seat; it feels more like I'm driving an RV than a van. It has three rows of seating: two front seats, two middle seats and a bench with three spots in the back. And all seats except the driver and passenger seats fold up into the floor, creating a cavernous cargo space. To be sure, it's a beautiful minivan, and at a price that was less than half that of the current year model. However, it was still a minivan...

It was a real hit to my ego. After all, I'd already given up my first convertible (Elizabeth, or Libby for short) for a nice, sensible family car. I had to ask myself what it was that hurt so much about letting go of Christine. I had already prepared to do that in February, after some of the problems began to surface. I was planning on replacing her with something similar. So it really wasn't about the car itself. It's way more about image, both outside and self. I see myself as being a young, fun-loving free spirit with a badass stereo, and I want others to see me that way. Most of the friends I've met here in Texas have never known me before having a convertible. And now I'd be driving around a vehicle that way more family than fun. I guess it's the one thing I fear most in life: to wake up one day and wonder what the hell happened to all the fun and joy in my life.

But you know what? Despite all the assholes, crappy jobs, low wages and other bullshit life has hurled my way, I still haven't reached that day. The few regrets I have are easy to roll with. It never mattered the clothes I wore or car I drove: I brought the fun. I still bring the fun. For starters: I can fit a full sized air mattress in the back with all the seats stowed. Fun times anywhere. :P I can also fit in a full camping setup, with all three kegs of cider and CO2 tank, without cramming. You better believe Austin work roadtrips will include a cooler of beer and a fishing pole. And I still have the stereo, subs, 6x9's and amp...

What, you didn't REALLY think I was going to sell the stereo, too, did ya?

There's not a single reason the same van that hauls kids on long road trips can't also haul the party. It's all about who's behind the wheel. Eventually this phase of life will pass, just like Christine. Hell, I had given up Libby, my first convertible, for a nice, family car, only to get Christine when it was feasible again. These things aren't permanent. So as sure as the hair on my head is turning grey, the time will tick down on this phase, too. Hey, maybe next time I can afford an even better one.

But in the mean time, she'll need a name...

Ain't Life Grand: Black Friday 2011 USA Tour

For nearly three years, D and I have been following an awesome EBM artist from Hamburg, Germany. We've listened to him get progressively awesome in that time in ways that few artists allow themselves to grow. And while his skill is superb, he has said time and again, despite constant prodding from us and the rest of his US fanbase, that he would never do a US tour...

Until now.

Last week, Faderhead started a US tour to follow his Black Friday release. That is an excellent album, by the way, and I suggest it to just about anyone. He had a stop in San Antonio, so D and I made it a point to go party on a Monday night. You can actually see us in the crowd on that video. And it did not disappoint! Despite being "the smallest stage he's ever been on" (and it was comically small), he completely blew the roof off that club.

I've been waiting for 3 years for that. "Now is the time to be there."

Ain't life grand?

Weekend Intelligence: Bad Kung Fu

To be honest, there's no real weekend intelligence this week.

Don't worry, you're not missing much. We would have gone to our annual ball. I posted no link for a reason, but Google "San Antonio Easter Ball" if you *absolutely* have to know... But, since we had plans for going out on Monday, we decided that two all-nighters in a three-day window was probably a bad idea. Especially when it overlapped with the work week. So we stayed home and had a quiet Easter weekend with the kiddos.

However, Friday was a good time. You see, D has become an independent consultant and purveyor of fine romance products via Passion Parties. The link is slightly NSFW, but honestly, check it out when you have time and privacy; she'll be getting an online store soon, I hear. Anyway, this means she schedules parties at other people's houses, generally on a weekend evening, and takes her products to showcase there. Which means she's not at home on a weekend evening. And you know what that means...

No, midgets and strippers were not involved. >.>;

And even if they were, I wouldn't admit to it here. My friends, family, and (most importantly) wife read this blog, and I try to keep it on the dark side of a PG-13 rating around here. Though you'd never know it with all the 4Chan references. Don't click that.

No, I'm talking about the classic, trusty guys night in staple: some ol' fashioned bad kung fu flicks. You see, I'm a big fan of bad kung fu, not to mention the badass feeling you get after watching bad kung fu. So is Kevin. The lower the budget, poorer the dubbing job, more improbable the physics and incomprehensible the plot, the better. The kind of films where no fewer than half a dozen people were likely seriously injured during the filming due to non-existent stunt budgets and/or legal safety regulations in the country.

Does the movie have subtitles? Then they obviously had too much money.

These are the kind of movies that assume you're viewing while consuming copious amounts of alcohol. They might as well have a "Best Served While Slizzard" advisory printed on the DVD. And there was plenty to be had of that: I had just kegged a batch of pear cider, and we had a 12-pack of Woodchuck, rum, whiskey and vodka at our disposal. Not that we drank all that in one sitting. We more or less destroyed the Woodchuck, that's about it.

We saw three movies that night. The first was one called Ong Bak. Technically, it wasn't a kung fu flick; it was a muay thai flick. Whatever. It actually was not bad at all: well-shot, no CG or wire effects. That's not to say there weren't plenty of ridiculous situations. In one scene, they're tearing through the streets of downtown Bangkok on... golf carts.

That's right, golf carts.

Complete with the hero jumping from cart to cart and ninja kicking people to the curb. In another scene, the hero gets caught in an explosion, only to emerge, lower body on fire, and deliver a flaming roundhouse kick onto someone's head.

Next was Legend of the Red Dragon, some really, really early Jet Li stuff there. Basically, the government in ancient China looks and acts a lot like the government of modern-day China: it gets what it wants and doesn't mind cracking a few monks in the process. Except in ancient China, they apparently had invincible kung fu zombie warriors who drove around in sawblade cars wherever the hell they wanted and didn't afraid of anything. I heard they were pretty cool guys. It was obvious that this movie was winning in the first scene, when the guy who would become the zombie later attacked the hero with a giant flaming log he had stuck with his claws. The hero countered this by sticking his spear into the other end of the log, spinning it really fast to drill all the way through the log and stab the not-yet-a-zombie.

Then the log exploded.

The last was Story in Temple Red Lily. This one is so horrible in that it's damned near impossible to follow. I'm pretty sure there's an evil baron after a prince. There's a drunk guy, too. And a giant bird that some of the people used to get from place to place. The rest is poorly dubbed political intrigue, camera angles that never seem to quite capture the subject (they got some awesome shots of talking trees) and fight scenes that make physics cry itself to sleep in a corner.

Bingo.

In-Cider Information

So I've been brewing cider at home for a few months now, and I'm getting pretty good at it. I just get a kick out of making something that I can enjoy and share with others, out of rather inexpensive and mundane materials. The system I have in place can turn out a fully chilled, carbonated and cleared 5 gallon keg in just under 3 weeks, and at a small fraction of what it would cost to buy something similar. Since I've made a few batches, I've decided to post some of the recipes I've tried and how they turned out.

"Shrade's Spiced Hard Apple Soda"

• 5 gallons of Musselman's Fresh Pressed Apple Cider


• 3 lb bottle of honey


• 16 oz bottle of Karo Light Syrup


• 1 packet of Lalvin EC-1118 champagne yeast, stirred and activated in 1 cup of lukewarm water for 10-15mins

Steep 2 gallons with a sachet of crushed whole clove, crushed cinnamon, rough ground nutmeg, crushed allspice and orange zest for 15-20mins, taking care not to bring the cider to a boil. Combine the 2 gallons of warm spiced cider, 3lbs of honey and the Karo syrup in the fermenting bucket, stirring with a whisk to mix it up well. Pour in the last 3 gallons and finish by pitching the yeast just before sealing the bucket and putting on the airlock. I let this sit for 10 days, then siphoned it off into a carboy for another week or so to clear. The result was a light golden-brown cider, about 8.5% abv, that tasted like the sparkling cure for a cold, gloomy winter day. The spices really stood out, without being overpowering, and the alcohol level was high enough to give you a warmth without being too potent to actually enjoy. This was a favorite of mine, and one I've since made a few more times.

"Shrade's Honey Perry"

• 3 gallons of Gerber's 100% pear juice (or 12 32 oz bottles, as the case was, see below)


• 2 gallons of GV apple juice


• 32 oz can of GV pears in syrup, blended


• 3 lbs honey


• 1 packet of Lalvin EC-1118 champagne yeast

D and I love Ace Pear Cider, so I decided to try my hand at one. This, however, proved to be a bit of a trick. See, just plain pear juice is really hard to find in any quantity without being ridiculously expensive. What I ended up having to do was raiding the toddler/infant food section at three different grocery stores to get just enough for 3 gallons. The rest I substituted with ye olde apple juice. Combine these in a fermenting bucket, stirring in the honey and the pear blend. Pitch the yeast before sealing and putting on the airlock. I let this sit only a week, then siphoned off and cleared for three days, as I wanted some of the sweetness of the pear to remain.
I also toyed with a new clearing technique: placing the carboy in the keggerator to clear. This chilled the cider to around 37-40 degrees, causing the yeast to go dormant and fall out fast. The result was a crystal clear sparkling pear cider, around 7.5% ABV, that was sweet and crisp. Perfect refreshment for a summer day.


"Cranberry Farm"

• 3 gallons of GV 100% Cranberry juice


• 1 lb of honey


• 16 oz Karo syrup


• Lalvin EC-1118 champagne yeast

When I asked D what flavor she'd want to try next, she quickly answered with "Cranberry." So cranberry it was. Combined the juice and honey into the bucket and pitched the yeast before sealing and airlock. I let this sit for nearly two weeks, in part because I got busy, but also because I knew there wasn't much sugar in there. Little sugar = little alcohol, so I wanted as much as I could get from this batch. It cold cleared in a carboy for only a day before kegging, and I sweetened it with the Karo syrup before sealing the keg. The result was something of a wine cooler. Think Boone's Farm, if Boone's made a cranberry. It was a little too sweet for my taste, but D loved it, and that's what I was going for all along, anyway. :)


"Apple Champagne"

• 5 gallons Treetop apple juice (highest sugar content per serving I could find)


• 3 lbs honey


• 32 oz Karo syrup


• Lalvin EC-1118 champaign yeast

I wanted to make a prosecco-esque batch of apple champagne. Combined 5 gallons of juice with the honey and one of the two bottles of Karo syrup. The idea was to get as much sugar as I could available in the mix. I let that sit for two and a half weeks, until the airlock didn't bubble anymore. I cold cleared it for a few days and poured in the other bottle of Karo Syrup just before kegging. The result was a very, very bubbly, but very dry, apple champagne, just shy of 13% ABV. At first, it was very hard to drink, as it was just really too dry. After a few days, it mellowed out a bit and was a lot more like a prosecco wine.

Weekend Intelligence: National April Fools' Day Weekend

For one day a year, every year, a certain degree of shenanigans and tomfoolery is not only expected, but welcomed. I take this day off every year, in part as a way of celebrating having PTO again, but also to celebrate the day with some relaxation and shenanigans of my own. So, in typical weekend intelligence fashion, here are the highlights.


Friday (aka: National April Fools' Day)


D decided to take the day off with me, and we both got up early to take the kids to daycare and head out to Calaveras Lake for some April Fishing. I'd had pretty decent luck out there in the past, and the weather was pretty good for fishing: cool (but not cold), cloudy with hints of fog and drizzle. There was one other guy who was out there since the crack of early, so there was plenty of room on the dock.


After getting the rigs in place and the lines cast, D and I updated our Facebook statuses to reflect the national holiday. We even had one of our friends believing that April Fools' Day was actually a national holiday that everyone had off from work, leading her to wonder why her husband was working. We left that to him to explain. :P


In the end, though, it was the April Fish that had the best prank of all - we didn't really get a single bite all morning. Even the guy that was out there before the sun only had one catch all day. We packed up by noon and had a lunch at the Flying Saucer before crashing for an epic nap: a very relaxing way to spend a day!


Saturday (and what was left of Sunday)


Some good friends of ours were throwing two parties on the same day. The first was for their son, who just turned two, while the second was a birthday/housewarming party for later so the grown-ups could celebrate their gorgeous new house. I took Clara to the first one while D took a nap. It was your standard toddler birthday party in South Texas: lots of children and family and presents, BBQ and queso, cake, ice cream, a pinata and the relentless San Antonio sun. They had set up a trampoline in the back yard as well for the children to jump around on, complete with a guard net so they could literally bounce off the walls. Needless to say, Clara had a blast.


Later, once the family had departed and the children were out of the house, the grown-up party started. Colin, Clara and Elizabeth (Kevin's daughter) spent the night at Noni's while we all went over to bring the party. And boy did we ever. We brought a bottle of Black Cask, half a dozen Monsters and the piece de resistance: two 5 gallon kegs of my fine homebrew - one with "Apple Champagne" and the other with what I referred to as "Apple Pie Cider." Someone had brought a karaoke machine with Billboard DVDs, and they had set up a dart board since the birthday party.


So after a cup of cider or seven, and much squawking on the karaoke machine, I decide that the trampoline is looking mighty inviting. A few other people agree, so we all dart out the door to the back yard, take our shoes off and go crazy. It had been many, many years since I was last on a trampoline, but in that state, it all seemed to come back to me really easily. Hell, I could still handle doing flips and splits!


But you know what couldn't handle them?


My shorts.


Yup. That's right. On my final jump, I split my shorts all the way down the right inseam; my gray boxers the only thing shielding my business from the eyes and elements of the outside world. But I stayed classy (intended to be viewed together, and only with the finest Scotch and Cuban cigars). I mean, it's not like I was going to drive home to change like that, and D and Kevin were in no shape to drive me anywhere, either. Just had a good laugh of it, another drink, some darts and some karaoke. Several of us crashed out around 2am, only to have the birthday girl run around the house hollering around 4am to wake everyone up to party some more.


Not so much. At one point, she went to Kevin and yelled at him to get up, only to have him briefly laugh at her and continue his snoring. The party ended about 5am, with the few people still there passed out randomly around the house. D and I took an air mattress in the living room and slept until it was time to pack up the kegs, (much lighter by that time, the cider was a big hit) get the kids and Sunday donuts. Naps were pretty much the order of the rest of the day for Sunday, even trumping the weekly grocery and supply run.


We just didn't have much else after a party like that. But it's all good: I can't think of a better way to finish off the weekend that celebrates fools than to be one.

Know Your Meme: The Whistles Go...

Recently, at work, my coworkers and I were recalling some of the practical jokes we had played on one another, as April Fool's day draws near. IT guys can be brutal with practical jokes, especially on April Fool's Day. There was that change in computer policy that automatically locked the workstations after 1 minute of idle time. Then there was the 36x48 poster of Manicorn one of the system engineers and I printed on the plotter and posted to the back of HR Guy's door. And then there's the myriad of ringtones I've set for the on-call phone.

Imagine waking up at 2 AM to any of those...

But it was the ringtones that got me thinking. It's been awhile since I had come up with another good one. It's not that there aren't promising candidates out there. I mean, Friday anyone?

God help you if you click that...

It's just that nothing recently really has any true trolling power. Annoying is not enough: it needs to be intentionally ridiculous. It was while I was thinking about this that the conversation had trailed off into some other topic, and the phrase "whistle blower" was uttered.

"Whoo whoo~!" I instinctively blurted out. My co-workers laughed and looked at me like I was from the moon. I explained further that the whistles go whoo whoo~, and that they're like an alarm clock. The confused looks and questions about where I come up with this stuff told me they weren't up to date on this classic gem of a meme. As tempting as it was to claim it as an original random (I do plenty of that), it would have been wrong not to take advantage of this teachable moment in internet history.

So I took them on a journey: a journey through time. Back to the year 2003. Before YouTube and Facebook, and just in time for the birth of MySpace. It was Oakland, and a new fad was taking to the streets. Kids were getting their mufflers outfitted with "Whistle Tips", a piece of metal welded to the exhaust pipe that let loose a tremendously loud howl as the vehicle accelerates. A news station out of San Francisco decided to report on the nuissance to local residents. The report itself would have been utterly forgettable, if not for the two characters they found to explain the appeal of getting eardrum-splitting modifications permanently affixed to their car: Bubb Rubb and Lil' Sis.

It's not just that they explained it. They unapologetically defended the audial assault that these things made at all hours of the day. When confronted about how loud these things were, Bubb simply stated that those people "s'posed ta be up cookin' breakfast fo somebody" and that it was "like a alarm clock." They end the interview by speeding away in a car that was just outfitted with a whistle tip, nearly running into a parked car and barreling through a stop sign into oncoming traffic. Ironically, the whistle tip didn't sound as they peeled off.

The video went as viral as a video could go in the days before YouTube. Animated GIFs, soundboards and image boards were on fire with "Whoo whoo~!" YTMND was flooded with pages of Bubb Rubb whooping. More musically savvy individuals created remixes using sound bites from the interview.

I can't think of a better ringtone. When some moron calls at 2:30AM because they can't find the power button on their printer, what better way to announce the call than that? After all, that's like an alarm clock...

Fun and Games

So much has been going on that I decided to try to piece things together in topics instead of one big, long post.

So much, huh? Like what?

Well, for starters, I've picked up Final Fantasy 11 again. Not really playing like I did before; it's really more of a hobby this time around than an obsession. There's so much that has changed in the game that I would be stupid to try to catch up to the power players. It's just one thing I do to pass time, when I have time to pass. I'm hoping to keep it that way.

Final Fantasy 14 came out, but for various reasons, I just don't feel it has the staying power that 11 has. Don't get me wrong: it's a beautiful game. They spared no effort in breathtaking graphics and a rich foundation world. Unfortunately, that's all it is at this point, even months after it's initial release. You can finish the main quest line in an hour, and you're left wondering "Welp... What now?" Not a good thing for a new MMO offering. We'll see where it goes.

I've also picked up playing D&D with some good friends. It started with Mike, one of the people D works with, his wife Claudia and his roomate Kevin. They'd wanted to start a campaign, but needed someone to DM who could host and be kid-friendly, as they all have kids. Challenge accepted. After some coaxing, D decided to join in the fun. Now we meet every Saturday night to let the kids run crazy, have a drink and put dice to the table.

Lastly, I've taken up homebrewing cider. There's just something about making something with your own two hands that you can share and enjoy. I may eventually branch out into beer or wine, but for now, I'll stick to making what I like. To go along with it, I've almost completed a small refridgerated keg system. In fact, I kegged my first 5 gallon batch just last night. It's a spiced cider, but it has a crispness to it that reminds me a lot of an apple soda. So I decided to name it Shrade's Spiced Apple Soda. I got a batch of pear cider in the works now for the next keg: the chest freezer turned keggerator could feasibly hold up to 3 of them at a time.

So that's pretty much what keeps me busy when I'm not busy - good friends and good times.

Dusty Book

Amazing how fast time flies. One day, I decide not to update the blog, and the next the next thing I know, several months fly by and I'm wondering how to fill everyone in. Guess I'll do it in little chunks over the course of a few days. Don't worry: I still blog, just sporadically. :D